Tuesday, April 26, 2011


Words speak. Actions shout. Jesus couldn't have shouted louder than dying on the cross all those years ago. How massive must his love be that he suffered what he did in the hope that we accept what he offers. Life eternal. 

I remember (not exactly when) the time when I first decided to become a Christian was at a Sunday night service about Jesus' love and sacrifice. I don't know remember who spoke or the bible verses used (this was some years ago) but what I do remember was how I felt that night. 

I felt loved. I really did. I couldn't believe what He went through for me (I'm still wrapping my head around it actually). I remember the gruesome slideshow of pictures shown (from the film The Passion Of The Christ I think). The pictures showed no holy light, or doves flying around, or harps and trumpets or hugs and smiles. It was horrific and it looked painful. Which is what it was like for Him at the time. Absolutely horrible.

Father if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will but yours be done 
 - Luke 22:42

He felt the agony as any human being would. He didn't die a quick, easy death. It was messy, bloody and majorly scarred his body. It was gross, it was long, it was ridiculously sore. 

It's a good thing Easter is celebrated every year. It reminds us of that death and the resurrection that allows us to go to Heaven so we don't forget. But an even better thing is if it were celebrated privately in our hearts much more frequently than annually. 

Thank you for this free yet expensive gift Lord. Help me to not become complacent with it. You've given me one big reason and many more to love you. You loved me when I gave you no reason at all. You just loved me.

This was going to be a facebook status but I had way more to say than I initially intended.


Sunday, April 24, 2011

Learning From Your Mistakes

We've heard it time and time again that we learn from our mistakes. It's 3:03am and I just went on a thinking spree about it. Just getting it down in writing before I forget.

When I was a young girl, I strived to be little miss perfect. I always wanted to do the right thing (when people were looking) and I hated coming short of anyone's expectations (adults mostly). I was praised a lot for being the good girl. And I loved it. I absolutely loved the positive attention I got (although you probably wouldn't have known it at the time because I was ridiculously shy).

What shocked me to the core was when I moved to here to New Zealand and went to school. I was usually on task and the teachers were proud of me. However, there were times (of course) when I'd make a mistake and they'd address that problem and they try to direct me back on track. I was stunned at how much attention they gave to all my wrong answers. I was insanely embarrassed that they'd point it out. I now know that's what they're supposed to do. Better my work. But at the time, I felt like I was a miserable failure. It was horrible. I barely responded when they asked me questions about fixing my mistakes. All that was going through my head was "oh my goodness Laura, you got that WRONG."

Even through Intermediate School I hated having these conference sessions with my teacher when she'd point out my weaknesses and try to figure out a way to improve it (of course she'd talk about the positive, which outweighed the negative, but I didn't care. All I heard was "You're not very good at..."). I'd give her this wide eyed look of fear (I couldn't really hide my emotions that well) and she tried to reassure me she wasn't angry or attacking me, but I sure did feel like she was. Oh how wrong I was.

I had some serious issues with trying to be perfect. I couldn't take constructive criticism. I thought to myself that making mistakes was the stupidest thing a person can do (and I didn't want to be stupid). But it's not. Something stupider is thinking that mistakes were unavoidable and I had the ability to do everything right all the time (at least, when people were looking).

But that's not right is it? Mistakes are inevitable. The learning from them part is what we should focus on. It's always good to learn from other people's mistakes but there will always be your own. This is something I never fully grasped. I thought that I shouldn't ever disappoint anybody. Ever. So when the time came where people pointed out my imperfections, I was paralyzed.

One big lesson we get from all our mistakes is how to not take criticism to the heart and instead, focus on improvement. This is something I've started to learn only recently. Something else I've learned is that I'm not perfect. But that's beside the point. I've heard a saying that "perfection is not a destination, it's a direction." Constant mistakes allows for constant growth (as long as it's not the same mistake twice). I guess we learn this lesson at our own point in time and I think my time is now. 

Yes, I thought all of this at  3:03am in a matter of about one minute. It took me way longer than that to put it in words (that hopefully make sense).
I'm in great need of sleep now. 

Saturday, April 23, 2011

That Chuck Norris Guy

After reading so many hilarious Chuck Norris "facts", I decided to finally find out who the heck he is.

So in case you didn't know and were too lazy to look it up on (trusty) Wikipedia, there is it. That's who this guy who slams revolving doors is. I looked at the "Filmography" part of the Wiki page and I didn't see any film I recognised. So yeah... oh and here's what he looks like:

Wait, no... here:

Chuck Norris can speak braille.

Eclipse (The 3rd Twilight Movie, Not The Astronomical Event)

Every time I watch it, I'm like - "Bella, sweetie.... GO TO JACOB!!!" Well... no, I'm not. But I always half hope she chooses the warewolf guy over the vampire guy. Don't get me wrong, I'm all about the vampire guy, but every time Jacob puts on his sad, choose-me-please-Bella face, I can't help but want Bella to put him out of his misery. And I don't mean killing him.

I go "awww" every time Edward does something cute. Oh and I think i should say SPOILER ALERT. Just in case. I don't know of anyone who wouldn't have already seen it but really wanted to. I liked how he purposed to Bella. No fancy smanchy limo or super expensive dinner. Just quietly in the privacy of his home. Just the two of them and all the love they could possible ooze out of themselves. With his mother's ring too.

Edward is really... I don't know the right word... nice? (weak, I know) But everything he does is for Bella's benefit. He lives, strives even, to ensure her happiness. Most of the time it's lovely. But sometimes it gets annoying. It's like he crosses the boyfriend line and steps into father territory. Trying to tell her what's best for her and insisting he's so bad for her. Blah blah blah. Either he's SO bad for her that he leaves (for good this time) or he should just shut up and accept that they're together forever and that she should be a vampire to make that possible. None of this "oh I don't want to destroy your soul" tomfoolery.

Edward's too old for Bella. He's lived a century already (I think) and that's a pretty huge age gap if you ask me. But no one's asking me are they?

What's the big deal about Bella anyway??? Lol, kidding. That's just heading to a negative place I think.

So, in conclusion, Jacob should buy a shirt and stop having rock instrumentals in the background while the camera slowly rotates in a vertical plane from tip to top.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Little Pieces Of Information That Relate To Me

My room has a sliding door that leads to our backyard deck. The deck is where a lot of people go to have their phone calls in privacy. However, I sometimes leave that door open. Unfortunately, I hear everything they say (unless they're hard out on their guard). So I just play some music to a) let them know I'm in close proximity and b) so I don't have to hear everything they say. It's uncomfortable overhearing someone talk on the phone.

My sister has bought this new blue nail polish that I'm currently wearing and I cannot stop looking at my nails.

I moved my mirror from one wall to another. Now I always mistakenly look at the blank wall expecting to see my reflection. I'm always by myself when I do this silly mistake so I can only lol with myself. It's one of those you-have-to-be-there moments. Because it's a boring story.
Where mirror used to be (next to beer mug hat)

I was going to write an inside joke but then I remembered I hate reading people blogs and other posts and not understanding what's going on. So I won't.

I really like Jesse from Hannah Montana Forever, but I never talk about him (except with my friend, Kotalo) because my brother's name is Jesse and it's just weird. Same name = uncomfortableness.
1. Google
2. define: lovely
3. "appealing to the emotions as well as the eye"

I think it's fair to say loving isn't always lovely.

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Pokémon Week

From the 11th to the 17th of April was apparently Pokémon Week (according to fb - which we ALL know is the source of all truth). Everyone who joined Pokémon week was to change their profile picture to a Pokémon they liked the best. I really wanted to participate because Pokémon rocks! But I couldn't decide on a Pokémon, so I'll just blog for Pokémon week. 

Watching the theme song for Pokémon just took me way back to Samoa where I looked forward to Saturday mornings (8am, if I remember correctly) and I remember my cousin and brother doing a cute dance (?) around the living room.

Good times... Pokémon is one of the FEW good things I remember about Samoa's television back then (that and WWF (now WWE) and Sesame St)...
Man, I'd forgotten how cute Pokémon were. Ash was such a young (only 10!) but determined trainer who dreamed to one day become a Pokémon master. I miss watching those early episodes. Pikachu, Squirtle, Bulbasaur, Charmader, Ash, Brock & Misty. Those guys. I have no idea about the Pokémon world now. So MANY new, weird looking Pokémon. AND new faces. 

Looking back at how much I enjoyed it makes me wish I still followed it on television. Maybe it won't be the same... maybe it will be...
Oh well, it's better to have loved and lost it than to never have loved at all.

I cried when first watched this. This is the first time I've watched this since that time, when I was a little girl in Samoa. 

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Blog = Long Status Update

Sucky: A website with animated ads, that have sound and no pause or mute button, that play automatically.
Doubly sucky: These ads play while iTunes is playing.
Triply sucky: There are TWO of these ads on ONE website playing at the SAME time. So the people who are telling me how to wash my face are talking over the people who tell me to clean my toilet with a duck (or whatever). Go. Away.

All I wanted were some lyrics...

Saturday, April 2, 2011

What A Girl Wants

I remember years ago (maybe five-ish) my cousin and I were given about 40 bucks each and we were making a list of what we would use it on. She wrote down toys and other bits and bobs and I wrote down items of clothing I needed and school supplies. I remember her saying "No, you can't buy those 'cos they're what you need, not what you want."

For years, I've been very shy about saying what I wanted. I never wanted to seem like a brat and ask for something just because I liked it and wanted it. The few times I did get what I wanted, I regretted it. I didn't love it forever. I got sick of it. 
I didn't like that money was wasted on something I just changed my mind about.

Once, my mother and I were at the shoe store and she pointed out a pair of sneakers she wanted to buy for me. But instead I pointed at these other pink and black shoes which I liked better. Even though she disagreed with me, she bought them anyway. Days later, I didn't want them anymore. I wore them for a total of one time. What a waste.

So now I always second-guess myself. What I like and dislike. I think about it for a long time and I have to weigh out the pros and cons and really understand why I want what I want. 

I think that's one reason why I don't have a favourite colour. Because I don't have any good reason to prefer one colour over the rest. It's just a colour. It has not done anything greater than another.

The only thing that makes me like a certain colour better than another (for a while) is if it's someone I like's favourite. "Laura, stop conforming". Am I? 
The reason I do that is because that colour then has a positive connotation to it - something the other colours are missing.

A friend of mine did this quiz thingy to me and asked me three questions - what my favourite colour was and why, if I could have ANY pet in the world (both real of fictional) what would it be and why, and if I were to be any of the four elements (fire, water, wind, earth) what would I be and why.

I told him I didn't have a favourite colour but he wouldn't accept so I said that neutral, nude colour because it's not noticable and I didn't really count it as a colour. I chose no animal, and the element wind, because it's air which can fit anywhere - like a box (what a stink reason. Why did I even say that). All these represented something - which then made me look stupid and I was not happy with the results because I disagreed with them.

I think I should've got more time to think about it - it was not fair that he sprung these questions on me which I had to answer immediately. I did have enough research about animals to really pick one.

So here is my resubmission:

Favourite colour (for now) - Pink, because it's pretty (that's right that's my reason).

Pet chosen - Talking Pegasus. It can take me on exciting adventures or just for a ride when I'm stressed, bored or to get somewhere and I want to be able to talk to him about my day and have him talk back. He won't be annoying like a talking parrot. Even though he'll probably do huge poos that I'll have to clean up, I'll just clean them because he's my pet. You know, give-take.

Element - Water. Because it can be more than one state, while still remaining water. It can be a solid (strong), liquid (refreshing, cleansing) and gas (go everywhere)


So I didn't write about what I initially wanted to say so I'll save that for another blog.