I remember years ago (maybe five-ish) my cousin and I were given about 40 bucks each and we were making a list of what we would use it on. She wrote down toys and other bits and bobs and I wrote down items of clothing I needed and school supplies. I remember her saying "No, you can't buy those 'cos they're what you need, not what you want."
For years, I've been very shy about saying what I wanted. I never wanted to seem like a brat and ask for something just because I liked it and wanted it. The few times I did get what I wanted, I regretted it. I didn't love it forever. I got sick of it.
I didn't like that money was wasted on something I just changed my mind about.
Once, my mother and I were at the shoe store and she pointed out a pair of sneakers she wanted to buy for me. But instead I pointed at these other pink and black shoes which I liked better. Even though she disagreed with me, she bought them anyway. Days later, I didn't want them anymore. I wore them for a total of one time. What a waste.
So now I always second-guess myself. What I like and dislike. I think about it for a long time and I have to weigh out the pros and cons and really understand why I want what I want.
I think that's one reason why I don't have a favourite colour. Because I don't have any good reason to prefer one colour over the rest. It's just a colour. It has not done anything greater than another.
The only thing that makes me like a certain colour better than another (for a while) is if it's someone I like's favourite. "Laura, stop conforming". Am I?
The reason I do that is because that colour then has a positive connotation to it - something the other colours are missing.
A friend of mine did this quiz thingy to me and asked me three questions - what my favourite colour was and why, if I could have ANY pet in the world (both real of fictional) what would it be and why, and if I were to be any of the four elements (fire, water, wind, earth) what would I be and why.
I told him I didn't have a favourite colour but he wouldn't accept so I said that neutral, nude colour because it's not noticable and I didn't really count it as a colour. I chose no animal, and the element wind, because it's air which can fit anywhere - like a box (what a stink reason. Why did I even say that). All these represented something - which then made me look stupid and I was not happy with the results because I disagreed with them.
I think I should've got more time to think about it - it was not fair that he sprung these questions on me which I had to answer immediately. I did have enough research about animals to really pick one.
So here is my resubmission:
Favourite colour (for now) - Pink, because it's pretty (that's right that's my reason).
Pet chosen - Talking Pegasus. It can take me on exciting adventures or just for a ride when I'm stressed, bored or to get somewhere and I want to be able to talk to him about my day and have him talk back. He won't be annoying like a talking parrot. Even though he'll probably do huge poos that I'll have to clean up, I'll just clean them because he's my pet. You know, give-take.
Element - Water. Because it can be more than one state, while still remaining water. It can be a solid (strong), liquid (refreshing, cleansing) and gas (go everywhere)
So I didn't write about what I initially wanted to say so I'll save that for another blog.