Sunday, July 31, 2011

Leaving A Message For Myself (and probably you)

Dear Future Laura,

Do your homework NOW! When you receive it. Straight away! As in, today. You always put it off saying you'll do it tomorrow (you won't!). Then come the night before it's due (plus the morning afterwards) you are working in panic-stress mode trying to get it done.


It's nearly midnight and I regret not using the past two weeks to do a little bit here and there and completing all this work at a reasonable pace. Seriously, my hands are cold and my eyes are tired. But I've decided to take a few minutes to leave this important message to you (then I'll exit the internet). You will not do as well as you could've if you did some work for the past TWO WEEKS.

I wanna sleep and get a good night's rest for the first day back tomorrow. But alas, I must pay for my laziness and am slaving away NOW. Do you want this again? Do you? DO YOU?!

No.  I didn't think. So stop checking your blog stats, tumblr and facebook page. Exit it now. NOW NOW! Get your butt off the internet! Because this. Is. Not. Fun. I'm cold and tired and unhappy. You don't want to be like me! (old you).

Take care of yourself, you are wonderful and should not be put in this situation that I'm in. You are too wonderful for that honey. I love you. Be well.... AND DO YOUR HOMEWORK. NOW.

With Love,
The old, tired, grumpy, cold, late nighter Laura who will not get a good sleep.

Saturday, July 30, 2011

A Random Blog

I had alot of dreams last night and I remember bits and pieces of them. I hate how REAL it seemed then bang! I wake up on the couch (yeah, I sleep there even though I have a room). My dreams are so interesting and so... fun. It's so movie-like in the sense that there's always SOMETHING happening. I'm running away from monsters trying to kill me, I'm hanging out with every friend I've ever had on a beach somewhere and everyone knows each other. I remember feeling either super scared (that I don't wanna go back to sleep), or super sad (that I wake up crying), or super happy (that I close my eyes and try to get back there).
There's never a dull moment. Which is so different to my real life. 

Speaking of real life, I have an English report that is due on Tuesday and I have no interest in it anymore. I'm confident I won't fail, but I want better than merely passing.... I wanna want it MORE. English is my least favourite subject. Only because it's the most difficult.

I was watching the first three seasons of The Hills and MAN they have changed so much! Lauren was new to her internship at Vogue and was stumbling here and there making mistakes and learning how focussed, precise and quick on your feet you have to be. Heidi looked mega different (obv.), we're introduced to Justin Bobby and Whitney is the competent hardworking girl she always is.

I feel like going to a hoedown. With full on cowboy attire in a dusty barn with hay and a live band. With everyone dancing with a partner and line-dancing. Or a ball. With ballroom dancing. 

Okay... not like this

More like this... casual


Tuesday, July 26, 2011

YouTube Haters Gon' Hate

I usually don't care about YouTube hating comments. I mean, it's a given when you have a world-wide audience that can voice their (arrogant) opinion with a push of a button. I usually stay away from them. 
So Relient K (one of my favourite bands) covered 'Baby' by the Biebernator (which is my fave song from him). The comments were flooded with hate comments towards Bieber. All who loved the cover kept saying how they made such an 'awful' song bearable. They didn't even do anything to it - they just played it!! Well, they gave it different more rocky feel but it's still basically the same song.
Like I said before, I usually don't care about the loser comments that people post but I'm so irritated that I'll let it out here (to all you lovely readers who adore me and won't jump on that hating band-wagon) rather than commenting on the YouTube clip and giving everyone a telling off. Because we all know how un-effective that would be.
Here are some of them so you can see where I'm coming from:
"More proof that all you need is a great singer to turn an awful song great"
"I heard Justin Bieber did a cover of this song... sorry I just had to say that!" YOU'RE NOT SORRY!!!
"some loser 12 year old made a really lame cover of this song"
"wow, it's so much better! so glad they improved it. Relient K, you never let me down"
"this sounds better when a guy sings it"
Comments that didn't make me go Super Saiyan
"Not a fan of JB but this is a great cover. :)"
...I realised I wrote 'comments' and not 'comment' but that's all I could find.....

I've calmed down a lot since I first started writing this. Yeah... I'm good now. I can face the world with a smile. Anypoos, give the cover a listen. I like it.

I like him

Monday, July 25, 2011

Up & Up

In the past few weeks, I've found that it was extremely easy to slip into a melancholy and bleak mindset. So many things contributed to triggering a giant overwhelming tsunami (and I can't swim).

Being miserable was like my resting place. It's like I liked being unhappy. I think it was my equivalent to people cutting themselves. Except I didn't need a blade to make myself feel physically sore. My emotions were that strong. I had breakdowns constantly which lasted about twenty minutes and then..... it was as if I was snapped out of a daydream and I'd have no idea how I felt only moments before.

Anyway, why go on about my awesome life? Because I'm climbing out of that hole. It takes a lot to be positive. To be hopeful. To pray and believe. To tell myself that things most definitely will get better. It's easy to be stubborn and spiral my way into depression. It's takes all the effort to go against that. Onward and upwards I go.

I'm gonna make a lil shout out to my eldest sister Bina! You're a pretty mint eldest sister. 
*insert some more heartfelt cheese-dripping sentences that is awkward to say in person but makes you smie anyway* (I know my way into a womans heart)

This morning at church, we had an old man preach (I actually feel bad for forgetting his name). He had the most inspiring message I'd heard in a long time. What was it about? Encouragement. Such a basic concept to spend the whole service on but something that needed to be re-enforced and reminded of. I don't remember the exact points he made (I'm waiting for you Joel to upload the podcast!) but what I do remember is feeling so...... encouraged! 

He was so encouraging! And not in a patronising aww-poor-you-sinner-it's-okay-God-loves-you-anyway way. But in a sincere hope-giving way (yeah Christian sounding phrases ftw). I can't wait till the podcast is uploading (anyday now eh JOEL?! Kidding. I know you have a busy geeky schedule :P) so I can listen to it again. 

During the singing songs part, Hamo encouraged me (oh and the rest of the church) to push through. Like how the sick woman physically pushed through the crowds of eager Jesus-craving people to touch his cloak. Just his clothing? That doesn't even count right? Wrong. Her faith and pushing that got her her breakthrough. I didn't even feel like singing during the praise and worship part. I just wanted to fast-forward the whole ordeal and listened to the message then leave. ASAP.

But what Hamo said what exactly what I needed to hear. The very thing that I needed to do. Push through. Push through my boredom and push through my dislike of the songs chosen. Push through my preference of sitting on the chair and being emo. Push through and reach out to Him who's waiting with arms wide open. And boy the relief I found in his arms. I felt so in love and I knew that that simple encouragement was the catalyst to something good. Thanks Hamo for being my enzyme. (I tried to find your fb page to thank you there but I couldn't find it so hope you see this!)

"It's funny how you find you enjoy your life when you're happy to be alive."
- Relient K

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Kelvyn Gee!

Thank you to the Johnstons for making me feel like family :D
I had great time - being an honorary Johnston brother (thanks for that Malcom).

Baking Green Velvet cupcakes is certainly something I will always remember (and NEVER repeat). What a fail in our colouring! Oh well, the cookies were heaps better (despite the fact we totes forgot the (brand new) baking soda).

Aahh and then there was Phase 10. The card game that turned family to foe *cue lightning strike*

Liv being cute with the cards
Liv being super attractive and Luke tryin' to be the man at Phase 10
She had all the luck on her side

Liv and I painted our nails the same colour. You know what they say, great minds always opt for a blood red rather than soft barbie pink when wanting a daredevil feel . Yep, they say that.

Table tennis - I'm pretty good
She struggled to get down after this photo was taken

Thanks for the fun guys! Shout out to my homeboy Olivia Rose (Liv) for inviting me and treating me like a queen (not) and for the many conversations I shall remember (and hold against you for years to come).

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Fuzzy Feeling

SPOILERS ;) (for real this time)
Watching Dr Who gives me a lot of that warm fuzzy feeling. 

One of those times was when the Star Whale saved the United Kingdom from burning from the Sun.
The Star Whale didn't come like a miracle all those years ago. It volunteered. You didn't have to trap it or torture it. That was all just you. It came because it couldn't stand to watch your children cry. What if you were really old and really kind and alone—your whole race dead, no future. What could you do then? If you were that old and that kind, and the very last of your kind, you couldn't just stand there and watch children cry.

The Star Whale dedicated his life to aid humans to find another home planet. I got goosebumps and a little teary-eyed. And to top that, the Star Whale stuck around EVEN after hundreds of years of torture from the humans. Love it.

Amazing though, don't you think? The Star Whale. All that pain and misery....... and loneliness. And it just made it kind.

The Blog That I Thought Was A Spoiler But Actually Isn't At All So I Re-posted It With A New More Accurate Title

To Neil, to Jessica, to David, to Kenzie, to Di, to Anne, and to you, if you have stuck with Harry until the very end.

The very end. And what an ending. Harry Potter has a very big buzz around it since the last movie came out (imagine what it would've been like if I lived in England!). I am very happy and sad to see the end.
It has taken till part-seven-part-two to accept that some people just don't like Harry Potter. Although I am gobsmacked, I remember that it just doesn't tickle their fancy and that's it. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It's hard to accept and it takes everything in me not to smack people in the face and try and convince them to see what I'm seeing.
The journey was more than Harry, Ron and Hermione's. It was so much bigger than that. So much more exciting and each person had such rich character. I have so many things I could say about the Harry Potter series and I don't think simply a blog will suffice. But I'll say a little.
I thoroughly enjoyed the movie but I cannot say I would watch it again for at least another few months. It takes a toll watching the film and it's not a chick flick I can just watch on a whim. It's emotionally consuming.
The books and movies shall live on as will the Harry Potter legacy. Thank you J.K Rowling. And Chris Columbus, Alfonso CuarĂ³n, Mike Newell and David Yates. It has been quite a ride reading and watching it all. 

Cute lil' Harry

Mean Maori Mean battle at Hogwarts

And finally, it takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to your enemies, but a great deal more to stand up to your friends. I award ten points to Neville Longbottom!

Brilliant girl. So. Brilliant. 
He's totes not ugly and he makes Hufflepuff cool

Monday, July 18, 2011

I Like A Boy

Yeah, that title isn't a joke and it means what it says. I like a boy. But I'm not suppossed to tell anyone. Because I'm not allowed to like him. Right?

What do I do? No don't answer that, because if I really wanted an answer through the internet, I would've just Googled it. 

I think I'll be crucified when I post this but what this is my blog and you don't have to read it if you don't want to. (Yeah right. If I chicken out I'll delete it and deny it ever being posted).

But there's this male right, who I like right, and that's it. 

Although that's not it. That's never just it. Because if you are a female as dramatic as I am (I have never described myself as that but I think it's an accurate description. And I don't wear it proudly), then maybe you can empathise that liking someone is not. that. simple.

I laugh at those girls on teen dramas how they fuss over whether they should call the dude or not or whether txting would be more appropriate. I mock those girls when they pretend to go to all the hang-out spots he likes and pretend to be into the stuff he's into just to so that they can talk to him. I roll my eyes when they talk with their friends hours on end about that time HE LOOKED AT HER. OH MY GOODNESS. ACTUAL EYE CONTACT. EVEN A SLIGHT SMILE. HYPERVENTILATION!!

Yeah, I laugh at them. 'Losers' I say to myself. Those stupid girls with their head in the infatuation clouds.... But inside... inside I know I'm just like them. I'm the same hormone-filled teenager who turns dumb as soon as the XY species are concerned.

I can't help it though.

Maybe I can. But I don't want to help it. Not really.

Which is really silly. But that's the effect of infatuation. I don't want to reason against it. It all feeling and barely any thinking. I floods my thoughts and I could think about it all day. No kidding. I could talk about it all day too if I wasn't so embarrassed. But I am. Because liking boys is wrong. Boyfriends are not allowed till I move out of the house and any contact with them even a toe over the platonic line will be followed by an avalanche of punishment.

So who can I go to sort out these feelings. I'm too scared to admit they exist let alone tell someone (which is ironic because I'm telling you). I'm over analytical and the amount of analysing I've devoted to this subject (and I don't mean topic) is worrying me. I tell myself it'll pass... that I'll just ride it out till it fades. All feelings fade. Right? But this feeling keeps increasing. Because I keep feeding it. And the worst part about it is that I'm probably feeding it lies. Illusions. So my feelings are based on nothing but my own foolishness.

SEE WHAT HAPPENS TO ME WHEN I THINK ABOUT A BOY. It's not fun and it's happens way too many times. 

And now I hold my breath to see how you, my reader, will react (because I always think about that when I post a blog).

Friday, July 15, 2011

This "owning of Harry Potter" is actually a fail in itself because Voldemort's mother died soon after leaving him at a Muggle orphanage and he killed his own Muggle father who he hated, for leaving his mother when he found out she was a witch. So the fact that this "Voldemort" is mocking this "Harry" about his parents isn't really a good enough come-back because both of them are orphans.

I was meant to go to bed but I really wanted to get this off my chest.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Cleaning Up

On my data traveler (USB device), I store photos, pictures, documents for school and music. In my folder of pictures (titled 'Pictures' and not to be mistaken for 'Photos'), some of the files were in sub-folders but the majority were just floating around in the main lobby of the 'Pictures' folder. I tried to ignore it and even made a 'Misc' folder and stuffed everything in there (much like my clothes and my closet and drawers). However, this didn't sit well with my conscience, so I made sub-folders for all my pictures. 
Ahh... feels so much better.

Yeah, I'm not enjoying the quality of this picture too

iTunes neatness
- 'Feats' go on the song title column e.g Who Are We Fooling (feat. Aqualung) by Brooke Fraser
- Everything is spelt correctly. If I'm unsure, use whatever spelling Wikipedia uses
- Everything needs album art. If the song was not released as a single or on an album, I put a plain, nice photo of the artist(s).
- Songs that don't meet this criteria will be fixed immediately... or deleted.
- tip: Use Wikipedia for all the information required. It's the easiest option.

Where did that song come from? Oh well - EXTERMINATE EXTERMINATE EXTERMINATE.


I don't usually watch "YouTubers" ie. people who make video logs about whatever and post them. I usually look up music videos, music audio, funny video clips and interviews. Pretty much anything that would be on television but I missed.

Lately (as in since January), I've found a few youtubers who I actually enjoy watching. It's like reading a blog. Except with a voice and a face. However, what I don't like (even hate) about watching them is that I can only watch them. There are some people who are really interesting and who I would really love to converse with. Like, really badly. Some of these people on their 2-4 minute videos talk about and think the way I do and I want a two-way conversation with them. 

Too bad huh.

OH MY GOODNESS it's 2am in the morning and I had NOT noticed at all till right now. Oh dear. I should be signing off now.

Kimberly "Immy" Sheehan

If she went to Hogwarts, I reckon she'd be in Gryffindor. I know no one who's as brave as she is. Not brave as in, sleigh-the-dragon type bravery (although...). I mean the I-don't-care-what-you-think-of-me bravery. I've been told so many times to not care about other people's opinions of me. But this girl, this beautiful girl actually lives it out. In an ordinary day in ordinary situations. Just day-to-day making decisions depending on what she sees fit. And never thinking about being judged. Silly things like running like a maniac to get in front of the line when everyone else is trying to keep cool walking calmly even though they're all secretly trying to be first.

I try not to stare at her in awe when she does it. It's so cool just being around her. I'm hoping her attitude will rub off on me. She inspires me. You really do Immy. And I couldn't say this to you in person without saying it in an disoriented awkward way in my always-nervous-sounding voice. So here's my structured tribute to you Immy (trusting that you'd read this). 

This is she

Saturday, July 2, 2011

One Year Anniversary Fail

So I planned to write a blog exactly one year since my first blog and then reflect on how much I've changed (if I did) on my writing style and what's changed in my life in a year.
But being like, 6 days late from that mark is kind of a buzz kill. But not fully a buzz kill so I'll write a celebratory blog nonetheless. Cos what the heck - my blog, my rulezz.

(Approximately) A year ago, my brother jumped back on his blog wheel after being away for a year. It was then that he planted the idea of starting up my own blog.
And so my self-titled blog (because I'm just so creative like that) was born. It was meant to be private (as in, I don't tell anyone I know) but I accidentally slipped to my brother that I had one. So my anonymity lasted for about a day.

Sometimes (most times) I look back at my old blog posts and cringe and think to myself 'Is that really what I wrote? Eww..." So to keep myself from deleted those oldies, I just don't read them. It's a bit embarrassing reading them now. Especially when I don't the way I did. I guess that's growing up right? One change is that I don't care all that much for the things I complained about on my blog "Sucky!". I care less about the things I wrote on "Before I Turn 60". I haven't really changed about the things I wrote on "tehehehe :D".

Anyway, here's to one year gone and hopefully a few more to come. And hopefully I remember to post on the right day next year!

Peace Owwt homiiie