You know, some of the best epiphanies I get are in the shower. Which sucks because I can't exactly record my thoughts as I get them so by the time I'm dry, dressed and on the laptop - I've lost it. Like right now. I remember thinking about something brilliant but it took so long for me to do two fish plaits on my hair that I just totes forgot about it. Hmmm...
Oh wait! Oh wait!! I THINK IT'S COMING BACK.....
Since watching The Orator (that Samoan movie in the cinemas), I have this feeling in me that just wants to do Samoan things. Like, wear a puletasi, siva Samoa, drink coconut (from a coconut tree that Kimoki climbed - or however he got those things). Okay, DON'T roll your eyes and tell me those aren't what real Samoans do. It's what I used to do when I lived there so that's what I miss!!
I miss Samoa so much now. Apia, Saoluafata, Lalomanu, Uakoko's shop (that's how you spell his name right family?). The only times I've gone back to Samoa have been for occasions like weddings or funerals. Don't get me wrong, those occasions are special but just once, I want to go back merely to visit (or live.... maybe....). No fa'alavelave, no stressing. Just a visit. Hang with family, go to the beach, take photos, complain about the dust and humid.
I feel so far away from Samoa. And not just physically. I feel so un-Samoan. I don't want to be that "fia palagi" because to be honest, I think sometimes I am. So I want to shun that snobby part of me and not be such a "plastic Samoan" as one of my best friends so kindly put it (shout out to you - You know who you are *stern look*).
Oh, and I don't actually own a puletasi. I used to, but I gave 'em away.
So this isn't as awesome as I remembered. I remember having something way in-depth. This post just doesn't feel - fantastic. It's just me being homesick. Home is where the heart is. And atm, my heart's in the motherland. Nevertheless, I shall publish.
Tofa soifua :)