So tomorrow I'll be presenting a speech/seminar to my English class. Now this didn't really scare me. Till now. I've just pictured myself standing in front of the class and getting judged. Now, I don't mind the fact that they're gonna be staring at me for about five minutes - but I'm going to stand there and delivering my work that they're free to judge it.
To me, English is my least favourite subject when it comes to showing people my work. Because it's such a personal subject. In physics, I get bad marks if I answered incorrectly or miscalculated or have no idea what physics concept is goin' on. But in English, what I write is kinda what I believe in. Writing is such a personal thing that when it's judged or marked if really affects me. I'm really proud when it's good and really bummed when it's bad.
English isn't black and white and it's not clear cut what I should or should not do. So when I get things wrong, I feel very belittled.
Showing the teacher a written assignment is bad enough - but to stand in front of people and deliver it yourself - that's a whole new level. I have to stand by every single word I deliver. I'm getting a bit shaky just thinking about it.
Another side of me is telling me that I'm being silly and that people in my class have already done it and gotten it over and done with and that I could do the same. It's only going to last for about five minutes.
But that side of me is too quite and the nervous side's panic overpowers it!
Just five minutes Laura. It'll be over in five minutes.......