Monday, February 27, 2012

These Are A Few Of My Favourite Things (Part Two)

(I posted a short list ages ago...)

When the dog bites, when the bee stings, when I'm feeling sad. I simply remember my favourite things and then I don't feel..... sooooo bad....

Usually when I'm feeling like crap, all I can think of are things the annoy me because I can sense it so much stronger in this bad mood! It's like I've been turned into a Twilight vampire where my senses enhances like crazy! It's like everything in the world annoys me, I just didn't notice. But I don't want to do that... so following in Maria's footsteps, let's hope I feel better after writing this.....

When someone has a song that describes exactly what I think or how I feel. It's so nice to be able to sing along and express yourself through the means of someone else's art. There's a comfort that comes from someone understanding you exactly - without pity or even knowing. It's nice.

When guys cry. There's something so manly about letting the tears flow. Okay, there's obviously a point where TOO much crying becomes.... off putting (lol). But that one moment where the man just stands there, speaks and not try to hide the tears. It's just so beautiful. Call me sexist for thinking women crying is not as groundbreaking as men but meh, it's what I think....

When someone listens. Like, REALLY listening. There have been countless times where I've said something to someone and immediately after they reply with something TOTALLY unrelated as if they've just been eagerly waiting for me to shut up and open the floor up to them... It's so awkward for me... But when someone listens and replies and we build up the conversation from there... I don't know exactly... but it's so... okay, I don't have enough words stored in my vocabulary. It feels good. There. That's all I can come up with...

Happy endings.

New Girl. Friends. Homeland. Once Upon A Time.

Mum's homemade anything. She's Queen of making simply things divine!! Armed with garlic, onion, water and soy sauce, she's unstoppable!

Facebook likes. Call me shallow but they do give some kind of boost. Don't judge me!

Okay, that should suffice. I feel way better now :D I leave my dad's study with a brighter outlook on existence in general. Thank you Lord for being with me. Thank you reader for visiting this blog and thank you Dido. (lol, lame.)

Saturday, February 25, 2012

LOL Hi

So it's been a while but I'm back in town.

I lost internet connection for about ten days and before then I had a mind block and couldn't think of anything to write. But I'm back now :D

Most of my time consists of school, PolyFest Samoan group  practice and then trying to relax somewhere in between. I'm trying to stay on top of my school work which means constant revising and Samoan group practice just sucks the life out of me. It's okay though, PolyFest is in a few weeks and then I'll get most of my life back....

I don't really know what to say. I've been enjoying NOT coming on the internet every day for hours on end. I feel like going over fb updates tiring and I haven't even BEGUN to catch up with the blog posts and vlogs I've missed. But I've come to realise that going on the internet and doing all these things aren't important. They aren't necessary. I don't HAVE to do any of it.

In March I posted a story I received in an email called The Mayonaise Jar and Two Cups of Coffee. I need to rememeber that facebook, twitter, YouTube and even blogger are not the "golf balls" in my life. They're the sand. Well, maybe blogging itself is a "pebble" but READING every single blog I follow is "sand". The thing is, my life is complete with or without the billions of social networking sites I've come to love during the Christmas Holidays.

But I have not the time or the energy to keep up with the fast moving updates and notifications.

Sundays are the only days I don't have Samoan group practice so maybe, MAYBE, I'll read some blogs and watch some YouTube vlogs.

Sorry this post is not really a thought provoking or interesting post, just me saying hi I'm back and yep, that's all :)

Watch this space :D

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Swear Words

I'm not one to cuss frequently. In fact, not many people can say they've heard me do it (that time in the car didn't count!!! I didn't say it!!!). But I have before...

I usually cringe when I hear swear words. But not in EVERY instance. I have a friend who swears alot. She uses it as an adjective. She's says it so nonchalantly that I don't find it offensive (even when she does use it when she's angry). But apart from her and very few others (I think just one other person), a swear word is offensive coming out of real-life person's mouth. It's kinda stops me in my shoes and I'm just so taken back.

However, there is one instance where I prefer it. P!INK's song "Perfect" or rather, "F**king Perfect" is the only song where I prefer to listen to the unsensored version. That song is so powerful. It's like she's screaming at all the insecure girls that they ARE good enough. You know P!NK's aggressive voice - when she sings, she very well means it darnnit!! (unlike my words.... "darnnit"... lol!) Any sensored version just doesn't do the song justice - it kind of dilutes the power.

"Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel like you're less than, less than perfect."

...is not the same as....

"Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel like you're less than, f**king perfect."

(I use asterisks cos this is a G-rated blog. lol)

It's like P!NK is begging, pleading then slapping girls in the face to open their eyes and tell them they're definitely worth the time of day and they best believe it! I get the television and radio have regulations that mean they have to sensor the song, but I myself prefer the gritty one. It's a raw, emotional song and I like it that way.

Mind you, I never sing it with the swear word - I just don't have it in me... That's a good thing right?

Saturday, February 11, 2012

I feel like my brain had been squished and squirted out random thoughts...

I haven't posted in 10 days. It's felt like forever for me....

I really like my English teacher. Is it weird that I try to act too eager in her class? Like I'm trying to impress her or something... I like all my teachers actually, I just feel like if I were a bit (lol, a bit) older, I'd wanna be my English teacher's friend... yeah...... I'm cool...

Disney movie songs make me happy. Enchanted, Tarzan, Mulan, Lion King (1&2), Tangled and others. Wouldn't be cool to own physical copies of their soundtacks? Cool indeed.

I've found that with some friends, I grow to like the things they like because I like them and they like those things. Those things then have this good connotation which makes me like those things more (wait... is this how conforming starts??....meh....). If I met someone and they told me they loved dancing naked to High School Musical songs, I'd kinda smile awkwardly and back off.... But if one of my good friends told me the same bizzare fact, I'd be more open-minded.

For ages, I've felt like I act older than the average person my age. I think that's because I've been self-conscious since ages ages AGES ago, and I didn't want anyone to hate me so I behaved well (except to my older brother who I remember being a pain to). I didn't understand why people were so disruptive in class and why they answered back or generally disobedient. Why they didn't shut up in class or got on with what they're meant to be doing? I've always been what is known as a "goody-good" (I hate the sound of that term). But now in my last year of high school, I feel like people my age group have caught up. How do I say this without sounding so high and mighty... *deep breath*. I feel like I'm at a age where I can be around people my age who will act mature and save sillyness and roudiness for appropriate times. Teachers go on a lot about how "you guys are year 13's now so I trust you to know what to do....etc etc". And I'm so glad that, a lot of the time - they're true. Well, the people in MY classes anyway. This paragraph is too long for me to proof-read....

My brain feels jumbled. When I'm away from the laptop, I have tons of things to say, thoughts churn and I have a good ol' time in this noggin of mine. Then I sit here, stare at the screen and the thoughts flee. Or they starting mushing in with each other and I find it hard to make sense of it all.

Be Yourself. Sometimes I pretend to have certain personality traits or quirks so certain people will like me. But seriously, there is no feeling like having someone like you for exactly who you are - well, at least, that's how I feel. It's kinda scary being honest about who I am because I want certain people to like me, to approve. It's so liberating when I learn to just be myself around other people. There's less pressure and I enjoy being alive. I don't act honestly ALL the time but I'm getting there.

Sometimes I daydream about moving to a different country far away (not like Samoa or Australia). Moving somewhere foreign where no one knows who I am, who my family are - or even about my country! Where I would make news friends, go to a new school and live in a new house. Deleting my facebook page and having little contact to my old life. It's an exciting fantasy but not one that I'd actually put into play. Well.... not until I'm older.....

Wouldn't it be cool if enough humans were nocturnal enough that we'd have a town of nocturnal people?

Getting real life comments about my blog gives me mixed emotions. On one hand, I'm flattered that people actually READ it. But on the other, it makes me a bit nervous about what I write knowing that people who know me read it.... Suck it up and post it anyway darnnit!!! Okay....

I think this rambling has gone on enough... till next time, byyyye! :D

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

First Day Back At School.... which then turns into a post about facebook... huh?

Happy first day of February! Gosh a whole month has past already...

So today was my first day back at school and it was so anticlimactic... I built up this expectation to what it would be like to sit in class and be around people. I imagined it to be an amazing day of reuniting with people and lots of holiday stories. But it was full of sup's, nothing-much's and yeah-the-holidays-went-by-so-quickly's. Today was a really relaxed day where everyone was just confirming their timetables and introduced to any changes made and blah blah blah.

Something I was taken by surprise by (which I shouldn't have I think...) is how much people talked while the teacher was talking. How annoying is that?! "Don't talk while the teacher talks" has been a school rule in every class of every school I've been to. WHY DO PEOPLE NOT DO THIS. Every time a teacher stands in front of the class to talk is to convey important messaged intended for our ears. Arrrghjkfhbcskljdbcflhesbcfcekrjbjhrfebcajvhbfc. *deep inhale* one...two...three *slowly exhale*

I also spent the day reciting to everyone what my subjects were at school. Which are:
English, Calculus, Biology, Chemistry and Physics. Just the basics really...

Although I woke up at 8am, I am SO tired. I slept at around midnight which is very early considering the times I slept at during the holidays. But I spent most of the day yawning (and passing it on to my friend who then passed it back to me and we just had a yawn fest... why are yawns contagious?!?!?!). But seeing the people in my class was the best part. After two and a half months of facebook interaction, it was cool to see everyone irl. Although I have noticed that hanging out irl is in some ways not that cool.

I'm not as funny irl as I am in text format. I seem more awkward and nervous interacting with 3D humans. Also, the thing about fb-ing people is that I can direct a funny comment to one person in particular and whoever ALSO finds it funny can like it and we form a little comment discussion with everyone who finds that thing funny. In real life though, when there's a group of people and you want to say something funny, you gotta appeal to the whole group which is hard.

Also, on fb, you're hanging out with everyone at the same time (given they're online). You jump from statuses to photos to timelines to videos to chat while interacting with everyone. You have multiple conversations that you can pull out of whenever you want. Now I know that makes me sound like fb gives me a way out of intimate interaction. But the thing is, not everyone who's a friend, is a close friend. So fb gives a way for acquaintances to still enjoy each other's friendship without having to invest so much time and energy. Okay, I don't think that made things any better. What I'm trying to say is that fb allows us to keep many friends that we wouldn't have otherwise. It allows us to have a fun connection even though we hardly talk irl.

Which is something people usually oppose but I like that my friends aren't limited to my close close friends. Cos I only have a handful of those. But fb allows me to cyber hang out with 237 people - even if it's just a photo comment or a status like once every season, there's still that connection there. Although, I am quite picky with my fb friends so I at least have to know them and talked to them more than five times to be added.

Wow this blog ended up in a whole new place than where I started. I put it down to my tiredness (honest to who there was no red squiggly line on the word "tiredness", I didn't know it was legit...). I'm trying to hard to fight against falling asleep in the next two hours cos every time I sleep before 10 I was up at around 2 or 3 as if it were a nap. Then I just stay up.... FOOOORRRREVVVVER......