Which is exactly what I needed. Lately with Polyfest practices and school, I've been perpetually tired. When I get home in the evenings, I'm too tired to be productive so I just watched television with my very bad influence of a brother (lol, kidding Jabs! :D) and then finally motivate myself to get up and start homework at.... uhh.... 11:30ish....
No pain, no gain. If I give in and just not do my homework or not practice as hard during Polyfest practices, I won't get the outcome or satisfaction I want. Nothing worth earning comes easy - and it shouldn't, it's what makes it worth so much in the first place. Ordinary people can do extraordinary things. I'm not trying to be self-righteous but I know that mere me can get through this - on top as well. Not alone of course :)
Don't give up. This is what I'm telling myself. This is what I'm telling you. Don't give up. It's a phrase used a lot that it starts to lose its impact. But don't give up.
I'd just like to point out that this is mentality is contrary to what I normally think. I'd usually re-evaluate why I'm even committed to something that's not schoolwork, why I'm giving up hours and hours and energy to something that'll be over and done in about 20mins. I would usually think how tired I am during class time and whether or not performing on that stage is really worth it.
I've decided it is. I know going to school means academics are at the top of the to-do list. But all these 5-years at high school, all I've been doing is academic stuff. No extra-curricular stuff, nothing. Just school, homework, assignments and exams. This is my chance to do something different. Something hard actually.
I've never worked so hard in all my high school years than I do during our Samoan Group practices. I've never been more disciplined and never felt so socially challenged.
It physically HURTS to repeat certain actions over, and over, and OVER again. To spend what feels like years on your knees in your starting position waiting for the excited and chatty to settle down. To move with precision, speed AND a smile. To sing loud and on tune. To not fiddle even the slightest EVER. I don't think I've ever worked this hard before in school. Behind all my complaints about being tired and sore from practices, I'm thankful to experience this. It has taught me discipline and that I have not been working to my full capacity - these 5+ hour practices have shown me that.
Another thing it's done is forced me to interact with different people. Which was pretty much the scariest part of joining the group. None of my close circle of friends joined so I felt a bit excluded at first... Everyone was so..... different than to what I was used to. But it's different now. It's good now. I like seeing these guys at around school. Even exchanging a smile to someone who I didn't even know before is nice. No, we may never be BFFs but even the smallest connections with people can be special.
And last but certainly NOT least, it feels good to be doing something SAMOAN. I've been told by people that I'm pretty much a white person with brown skin. Even though these are light jokes (maybe not...) but it still kind of got to me that I didn't reflect the Samoan in me. If it weren't for my pigments, I don't think people would believe me! And it's not merely being in the "Samoan Group" that makes me feel Samoan. Being in the Samoan for the amount of time that I am has gotten me into speaking it more, enjoying the fresh humour and untactful bluntness that no one deems 'awkward'.
Sure, your food disappears asap and everyone talks ALL. THE. TIME - I can't help but remember the good things most of all. That's love though right? You see the best in them and it just outshines any flaws that poke you in the eye.
But seriously, I need to go to sleep now..... there's practice tomorrow.... oh, and there's school too. lol
Less than 6 hours sleep - yay! :D