Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Things

Things.
Things are starting to pile up
Things are starting to get overwhelming
Things are not being prioritised in the right order.
Things are freaking me out.

Lists.
Lists help me organise
Lists untangle my billions of thoughts
Lists bring order.
Lists are my friends.

God.
God is still in control
God holds my life in his hands
God musn't be ignored, as He currently is.
God still loves me, even when I don't feel it.

Laura.
Laura is still alive
Laura can do all things through Christ who gives her strength
Laura will not cry tears of weakness or wave her white flag.
Laura will not quit, on school, on duties, on people, on life.

Friend.
You have helped me a lot
Esp. during the times of my darkest thoughts
Thank you. A lot.

Things.
Things still need to be done
Things will no go away until I deal with them
But things do not rule my life.

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Alfred


I'm so grateful that Mr Van Der Heever put us in an alphabetical seating plan that placed me right next to you.

Thanks for not killing me that day I slapped you on the neck. Hard.

We had some good painful times way back when you had an anger management problem. You've come so far. 

No one gives hugs like you do.

Remember when it was me you and Azhar? So random but awesome.

I love how much you supported the Samoan group. Every practice. Even Saturdays. V.I.P hard.

I love your mocks.

Remember how we used to hard out mock compliment your shorts?

You were the best non-prefect! Car park directing :D

You can always make people smile and laugh. Thanks for spreading your happiness everywhere you go.

I love how even though we haven't had any classes together since year 9, you still remain a good friend. Thank you for not being awkward/drifting away/becoming an acquaintance. 

Happy birthday 




Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Double Standards: Holidays

So Valentines Day gets bashed every year for being not real holiday; a day for businesses to make crap loads of money selling chocolates and flowers to lovesick (or apologising) lovers to express artificial love etc. It's a consumerism holiday, they say. If you love someone, you should show them every day not just on February 14, they say.

But I don't hear anyone say that about Mother's or Father's Day. No one complains when nearing Mother's Day, Briscoes and the like fill our television with gift ideas - chocolates, appliances, chick flicks etc. Or when nearing Father's Day we're bombarded with car stores ads, tool shop ads etc. It's like everyone's okay with this double standard. Should we only show our appreciation for our parents (biological or not) on their assigned holiday? Of course not!

People think Valentine's Day gifts are so superficial and just mean more money to big corporations. People who make and sell kitchenware or foot-spas are no different! They're big businesses trying to make money too! They don't have your mum or dad's best interest at heart - they want a profit. And what better time (apart from Christmas Holidays) can they bag a huge profit than Mother's & Father's Day. Where Mother's Day and Father's Day gifts seem culturally mandatory.

"What'd you get for your mum?" is a question always asked. I know this is going to make me sound like a bad child (mum don't hate me), but do we have to buy something? Why is there this unspoken rule where the way to celebrate and honour our parents is to buy them things? But then for a lot of adults, a lot of them live away from their parents so it's a nice a universal reminder to stop for a day and think about your parents and why you're so thankful for them. Whereas they're with their significant other most days (big generalisation) so it has to be a regular thing to express your love and appreciation. I guess.

But in the true spirit of Mother's Day (that was last Sunday), I love you mum! Like heaps. As. Churr.

Monday, May 14, 2012

Unexpected Hassle

I hate being rushed. Especially when it's unexpected. I don't like last minute plans and when I'm given less than 2 minutes to make a decision.

Last week, I spent about an hour walking around Southmall and New World wondering what to eat. I spent so much time in New World that I concluded I just HAD to buy something in fear of being accused of shoplifting. Why else would you linger in one aisle for 20 minutes?.... Well.... because it's hard to decide on what to buy. I was very glad to be left to my own devices because if I had company with me, they would surely get extremely irritated at my indecisiveness.

I don't like eating out with other people, especially to places I've never been, because I don't have the sufficient amount of time to choose properly. Shopping is fun alone because I can wander around for an hour before deciding a purchase. I want to be thorough and minimise regret.

Also, last minute plans. Such a hassle. I like to be aware of the amount of spare time in my day to allocate the appropriate activities - or at least, figure out how much procrastination I can allow myself... But all that goes out the window when an unexpected event pops up and demands my time.

I know I know I'm living in a box that is unrealistic. Things happen that I can't control, I don't have all the time in the world to contemplate deeply every. single. decision. This has to stop. 

So friend, how about helping me out. Ask me to hang out. Last minute. And then we should eat someplace I've never been. ..... okay, I just re-read that and got a very desperate-wanting-a-date vibe.  (say nothing Bina and Gogyn!). Scratch that thought, let me be. Haha.

*awkward moment*

Anyway, the point is, I'm a freak that needs a lifetime to prepare for every decision that needs to be made. Which is a problem because apparently, this world was not founded with I in mind as the central focus. So naturally, I'm expected to go along with the flow sometimes. Which. kills. me.

Yes.