Wednesday, August 29, 2012

What Goes On In This Head Of Mine

I have a very cute A4 sized notebook given to me by a friend and I write all sorts in it - thoughts, vlog ideas, homework, to-do lists, wishlists, notes of what people says, notes about things I see in my everyday life. It's like my little, portable pensive. Which is perfect because I hate forgetting.

I love archiving my life and memories. I'm the Queen of the Kingdom of Nostalgia so any thing, no matter how little is worth recording. I keep random pieces of rubbish if it meant a memory of something/someone.

I once kept a piece of Extra gum wrapping because it belonged to a boy I really liked. What, loser? Who me?? Couldn't be! But I don't know where that piece of wrapping paper is anymore, which is a good thing.
I even kept empty Lift bottles because they were drunk with special people at special times... or so I hope... because I have NO clue as to why I've kept them - fail hoarder.
I keep as much books as I can from school and about once a year, I go through them all and laugh at how stupid I was. Simple algebra was such a task to learn. Aah... fond academic memories...

The moral of the story is wear sunscreen and eat strawberries. What am I saying... the most sunscreen I wear is my SPF15 moisturiser and I only get strawberries if they're on special at New World for two packs for $5.

Back to my super awesome notebook - I write thoughts both raw and processed. I'll share some with you :)

I've been thinking about children who live in third world countries and first world ones too that aren't as privileged as I. Who don't get a chance at free education for 13 years. Who get dropped off to school if they do go. Who walk soaking wet to and from. Who have teachers who actually show up and teach. Who don't have teachers who a lot of the time pull extra weight to help them. Who don't have a chance of succeeding in what they love. Who don't even know WHAT they love doing because the focus of each day is to survive, nothing else. I'm not able to sponsor a child or have money to give to charities but what I can do is make the most of my educational blessings because WHAT an arrogant thing it would be to these deprived children to wave our free schooling in their faces and wipe our asses with it. One of the best things we can do (as oddly selfish as it sounds) for them is to fully appreciate and make the most of what we have and use it to our advantage. In respect to those who can't, let's make the most of these last few month of "horrible" school and get the best marks we can.

Funerals are sad. But I'm mostly sad because those who are living are sad. I cry most easily when I see others cry in movies and real life. So when someone I know and love dies, it doesn't actually ring true until I see how it's impacted other people's lives. Because I don't realise they're not there until the times I'd usually see them (if that makes sense). People dying makes me sad. But people crying makes me sadder.

I was at the park last week sometime writing and I saw a father and son flying their kite. One of the cutest sights.

The greater the risk, the greater the reward. I mostly think about this in the sense of meeting new people - which is the thing totally against my natural tendencies. But I could walk past someone who I could get along with like ying and yang and be a friend like no other but I'd never know if I never smile and open my mouth (with words coming out mind you, I suspect simply opening and closing one's mouth like a fish may deter people rather than attract them). Or I could just totally go all awkward turtle on them and they walk away in disgust or confusion. Nonetheless I shall talk to more people.

That's enough for now. I want to stop typing because mum is sleeping right next to me and I might wake her up. Okies, goodnight for now :)

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Go To Sleep Brain

Why is it that when I finally put my head on my pillow and pull my mink blanket up to my chin (because even though nights are warmer now, I love the cosy all-over-body hug it gives), and I shut my tired eyes that my brain decides it's a perfect time to think about things and stuff.

I don't want to think about how to relate real life examples of heroes into my English report.

I don't want to think about the possibility that the main reason that I'm so intrigued about trying to understand why people do the things they do was so I can best analyse why I do what I do so I can explain to people the inner workings of my thoughts in the hopes that they can empathise with me. Because with empathy comes forgiveness and you can hate someone less if you can see where they're coming from. And I want people to like me less so I try provide reasons for my irrationality, insecurities and stuff.

I don't want to think about how awesome the BBC television show Sherlock is (although, it is!).

I don't want to think about all the fictional characters I wish were real and in my life.

I don't want to think about how cute a kid was with his dad flying their kite today at the park was.

I don't want to think about how it sucks that the weekend comprises of only two days.

I don't want to think about the fact that in my second half of my last year at high school but that everything will be okay. Hundreds of people have had last years of high school long before I started my first year. This is not a new phenomenon to the human race, only to me. Much like most things in my life. It's all been done before. So just keep calm and carry on.

I don't want to think about the fact that it's now 1:30am and start counting the hours that I have to sleep.

I don't want to think about all the things I need to do before Monday morning.

I don't want to think about the fact that I find it so hard to ask for help and to admit that I'm wrong. I'm can't be perfectly perfect - so why am I under the illusion that I must be?

I don't want to think about the fact that I find it harder and harder to write a blog. Every post has to better than the last. And if it's not - don't post it. I write and let it sit in the "Drafts" folder and never open it again.

I don't want to think about how I have that cliche tendency that girls have that wants the people who love her to fight for her. That's right, as grossingly pathetic that sounds, I want those who care about me to fight for me - usually meaning they'd have to fight me and what I say. Is that selfish? I have a feeling it is. And yet...

I don't want to think about any of this. I just want to sleep. And by flushing these out of my brain, I'll be able to now.

Goodnight (hopefully).

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Close-mindedness About Music

One of the things that irritates the living daylights out of me is when people don't like, or even hate other stuff because it's "weird" to them.

"Weird" is in the eye of the beholder.
"Weird" is subjective.
"Weird" means you don't understand it.
"Weird" means you're not used to it.
"Weird" means it's YOUR problem, not theirs.
"Weird" is not law.
"Weird" is not fact.
"Weird" does not equate to bad quality.
"Weird" is not a reason to get ANGRY.

It's mostly on YouTube I witness people hating on things they find "weird" but I do see it real life too. People are afraid of what they cannot understand. And what's their automatic response to it? Discredit it. Mock it. Sneer at anyone who supports it.

If you don't "get" it, you have no right to make calls about it. This applies mostly to music. Because everything thinks they have the best taste in music and think they're justified in putting down other genres or artists.

First of all, that's just mean to hate on another person's hard work and creativity just because it doesn't fit into your small elitist box of "all-things-cool". Second of all, taste in music is not a thing you can be better at! It's like saying those who like blue have better taste in colour than those who like purple (lol crip).

I don't get screamo music. I don't understand it. To me is just noise. But that's not how other people see it. It's some people's escape from their depression. It's some people's melody over their parent's fighting. It's some people tune to stroll down the street to. It's some people dancing tunes.

Folks who fancy themselves "above" hip-hop" diss Nicki Minaj's music because her lyrics aren't intelligently witty like other musicians they like. But who said clever with was what she was going for? Why are you using a ruler to measure the mass of something? It doesn't fit, it doesn't work.

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” - Einstein the skux
That principle applies here does it not?

So what if a song has no meaningful lyrics but makes you wanna shake what your momma gave you? Is that such a bad thing? Is it not better that people find joy in cookie-cutter music to dance to to shut out the world rather than inhaling cocaine as escapism.

Is it not better than people unite as Beliebers and feel a part of a worldwide community of people who understand your obsession than to feel like you have no one to connect to?

Music does not belong exclusively to the classy or the educated or the poets. It's for everyone. Every community. Every social-economic class.

I'm not saying people should just stick to what they know and not have an opinion about other stuff (because as you can see here, I feel my opinion hold some worth since I feel the urge to put it on the internet), but people shouldn't be bigots about it. Because the sooner everyone stops believing their life is the only way to live, the sooner we can stop this nonsense of thinking we're so high and mighty and right all the time. Open your mind, wear someones metaphoric shoes and stop hating the world because you don't know it. Go out and explore. Talk to people, read books about people, watch movies about people and get to at least know ABOUT people who are different to you.

We're scared about what we don't understand. And I'm sure we ALL know...
“Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.” - Yoda ma man!