Monday, October 29, 2012

Adulthood, Miscommunication, Ideas

My urge to write occurs spontaeneously - and it rarely hits when I'm sitting at a computer. Thus, I feel less and less inspired to write blog posts. However, when it DOES hit, I write it down on a piece of paper or type it on my phone for reference for when I DO come to a computer. I shall type them out for you :)

When I was a little girl, I always wanted thought adults were these divine beings that knew everything there was to know and did everything right. They never cried cos they're never scared or sad about anything. They were perfect. I was so excited to grow up because I couldn't for the day to leave behind my peasant childhood cloak and bask in glorious adulthood or perfection and money. So it turns out that's not actually the reality of it all. They're imperfect creatures who are still finding their feet day to day. Damn. So I've learnt that be a noun-grownup, you have to verb-grow-up. Adulthood is not something that happens to you, it's something that happens with you.

Less Is More
Something I strive to minimise in my life is miscommunication. Thus, I have this tendency to try and explain myself - all. the. time. I aim to ensure the other person understands as much as possible about what I try to say. I hate hate hate watching movies where things go wrong because there was miscommunication or fail to deliver a message then everything gets blown out of proportion (frickin Romeo and Juliet). So I talk and talk and talk until I've exhausted my message with clarification. But more often than not, my act of service is met with awkwardness rather than appreciation. They find it amusing rather than helpful. So maybe I should just back of a little, maybe less is more.

When I have ideas mulling around my head, I always want someone there with me so I can discuss said ideas and bounce off each other so my ideas develop, evolve, alter or comfirmed. But my two situations usually are: a) there's no one around so I just write it on here with no second opinion and b) my ideas just get met with looks because it's not something anyone else cares about. This makes me feel a) supreior and b) lonely - both of which I know in my head is not true but it's what I feel in my heart.

And those are some of the contents of my notebook of thoughts.
Till next time,
don't forget to be awesome.

Sunday, October 21, 2012


Here are two things I would love to do more of but am not prioritising at the moment but would be, like, dreams come true. Then again, life's not a wish-granting-factory. Nevertheless...

Dancing. I love dancing. It would be ah-mah-zing to take lessons and be semi-legit. It's a deep passionate desire that I'm embarrassed and too scared to explore. 

Photography. I looooove taking photos. Even with our meh-quality 10 megapixel camera that so easily takes blurry photos and I have to rubberband the thing to hold it together and stick a piece of paper inside to hold the memory card in place - I still loooove taking photos. I love capturing moments and experiences to store for life. I'm a hoarder you see, and I looove hoarding memories. I even take advantage of my cellphone's budget 2 megapixel weird coloured camera. I just love taking photos. One day I'll be able to afford one of those pretentious massive black ones that allow you to take a billion photos per second.

Monday, October 8, 2012

Maxx Sucks

Sometimes I blog on-the-go, on paper, with a pen. Woah, pre-historical tools!! I know, so a-mah-zing. Here's one of them, written at this random fast-food place called McDonalds, idk if you've heard of it... oh well, enjoy :)

Gosh I'm so cold and upset. Waiting at that bloody bustop for 17 minutes enduring the wind and cold for what - NOTHING. It said "due" on that stupid sign and nothing came. It was like that for what felt like a lifetime. The bus came and it said North Something (not actually "something" but you know what I mean...) instead of the usual 455 so it wasn't my bus (duh) but I was SO excited when I saw it from afar that I jumped out of my seat. Literally. Bloody shaming...
Then the "due" was replaced by an ugly "24". Arrrrgh dub-tee-eff Max?!?!
So I got frustrated and came to McDonalds  to pay for an overpriced (but still yummy) Hazelnut Mochaccino and chocolate croissant from the cafe half of McDonalds. Which is getting cold because I'm writing and not consuming them... woops. I would've ordered from the actual fast-food menu because as angry as I was, I still was in the right mind not to ruin my lipstick...
Oh, and to top it all off - people eating non-cafe food are sitting in the cafe section of the restaurant (you know, quiet, small tables, comfy chairs) so I'm stuck in the fast-food section with loud children and angry parents.
This is totally killing my post-Anna-and-the-French-Kiss buzz. Ugh.

Okay, so that's all I wrote at the McDonalds. I should add though, Anna and the French Kiss is a book I'd just finished reading at the library and I was still in the high of it all but then all this happened. However, this story does have a happy ending. My amazing cousin, Lea, came and picked me up and we hung out and did some window shopping (and bought confectionary goodies). She's pretty much my hero. Yep.

Thank you for enduring my first-world-problem blog and hopefully you don't think any less of me - I'm only human! lol

Good night :)

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Books Give Me Feelings

Sometimes, I hate it when my book characters are given faces of celebrities. (Not always but) I have these misplaced feelings of ownership and anyone who tries to define their aesthetics should be damned.

Sometimes I laugh, gasp and cry with my fictional characters. Sometimes I forget I'm in public during these reactions. Always I get embarassed.

Sometimes I hate that these people don't exist in the physical world and aren't my closest friends.

Sometimes I have all the feels of the world that I can't spekjfsaehcnjavcndjuerafcdkjnhvcnasd

Sometimes I just want the whole world to read it so they understand.

But other times, I feel selfish like it's my own secret and no one else should be in on it else they'd ruin it.

Dear every fictional character I've had a crush on - can you have a talk to all the real life guys I know please and teach them a thing or two?

I wish books were cheap in New Zealand - it sucks watching people from the UK and USA getting them cheap as....

First world problems? lol

Good night :)